Ending a marital relationship is one of the most stressful experiences a couple can go through. The idea of ending this relationship can be very upsetting and confusing. Separating or divorcing is indeed a very difficult decision which often brings lots emotions, such as of ambivalence, sadness, grief, anger, guilt, fear, anxiety, and shame, among others.
Making the decision to break up a relationship sometimes takes many months, even years. Occasionally a couple concludes mutually that as devastating and challenging it may be, they cannot continue experiencing constant criticism, lack of respect, extreme defensiveness and detachment. These are symptoms of emotional and psychological dysfunctions. It is important to know that when the signs of marital disintegration start to show, couples have a choice to go for couple’s therapy, an excellent tool to see whether saving the marriage or common-law relationship is a viable option. Call for an appointment 778 297 6066 if you feel motivated to make changes in how you communicate and possibly spark new and more effective patterns to relate to one another.
Other couples also experienced other forms of abuse i.e.: physical, sexual, destruction of properties, financial and extra marital relationship, to name a few. In some cases, divorce or separation is imminent and couples need to explore possible settlement and agreements, discuss ways to move forward, co-parent in the best interest of the children, and communicate constructively. Indeed, achieving these goals is not an easy task. Reaching consensus can be accomplished after several negotiations exposing each other’s differences and expectations, with the intention to mitigate the grief and the overwhelming feelings that the dissolving of the relationship generates.
If you are thinking about this or are already going through separation or divorce, this is the time you need to access an experienced and respectful counsellor such as myself. My service is absolutely confidential and you deserve to invest in your wellbeing and that of your children.
It is essential that when children are going through the divorce of their parents, they see a trained counsellor/ therapist. It is also important that the counsellor has a great understanding of the couple’s dysfunctional relationship and the impact on the children, while being sensitive to the children’s needs. One of the main needs, when going under these circumstances, children need to continue being loved and respected unconditionally and not be pulled against each parent as this can be very damaging to the children’s emotional wellbeing and the parent-child relationship.
While parents are facing the realities of divorce/separation and the emotional trauma, it is difficult to be totally present. Often parents don’t have the time or predisposition to help their children deal with their confusion, sense of abandonment, pain, loss or guilt. Children sense they are being in turmoil. They may feel angry and anxious or may even blame themselves for their parents’ problems. Therapy can help children to come to terms with these issues and find strategies to move forward in a positive way and eventually accept their parents’ choices.
If you are contemplating this hard decision of ending your relationship, it is important that you consult and explore your options. These decisions are difficult to make. Many times, a couple cannot get to terms without a third party; this is especially useful if you have children because you will have to continue co-parent. I can help you formulate those terms in ways that you gain better understanding and feel empowered. Legal advice is very expensive, thus being prepared can save you money, time and additional grief. Make an appointment to understand your parental responsibilities and rights: child custody, financial child support and visitation/access to the children.
Whether you are consulting to maintain your relationship or not, my hope is to help you overcome the grief and negative emotions, to help you explore tools to move forward to savage your marriage or be single, and to help you clarify the choices that best suit your circumstances.